Today I Will Be Mostly ... Grumpy

That's right! Grumpy.

But don't be scared, I'm not big-time, shotgun-wielding, homicidal grumpy, I'm just a little bit grumpy, and shall spend the day moping around, pouting and saying "bleh" a lot.

Why am I grumpy?

I'm tempted to tell you to mind your own business ... because I'm grumpy and that's what grumpy people do, but then I guess it wouldn't be much of a post. (Tsk! I so didn't think this through) So ok, I'll indulge you this once ... but please can you imagine me telling you this with a scowl on my face and a with a slight attitude in my tone?

Thanks!

There are a number of reasons why I'm grumpy today and I shall now list them for you (in no particular order of irritational merit, they're all as grump-inducing as the other):

1) Sleep.
Or rather lack of sleep. Insomnia sucks big hairy badger bits. Know what I was doing at 4am this morning? I was alphabeticalising (is that even a word? I'm too tired and grumpy to care) my cd's and categorising my dvd's and books by genre and author alphabetically. NOT my idea of fun.

2)Neighbours.
B@stards. If they're not bonking for Britain (why can't they just move the bed AWAY from the wall?) then they're screaming abuse at each other. And then at 8am this morning, ON A SUNDAY, they decided that what they wanted to do, more than anything in this world, was some DIY. Cue loud, prolonged drilling and continuous hammering.

3) Teething.
That's what I said. I'm 29 and I'm fricking teething! And it hurts! I got conned into helping my mum do the grocery shopping this morning, I was sulkily pushing the shopping trolley while she piled in enough food to feed a small army when we bumped into a friend of my mother's. She had a small child with her, red cheeked and looking almost as grumpy as I did. We moodily stared at each other, a sulky stare-off if you will (he looked away first, so I like to think I won). My mum was trying to cajole a smile out of him by tickling his cheek and talking nonsense to him, he looked like he wanted to bite her finger right off. "Oh dear" said mother sympathetically "he doesn't look very happy, does he!", the woman replied that the child was teething, I looked at him with new, resentful understanding, "Oh!" chirped mother, "so's Kate! Poor dears! They get so irritable with it, don't they?". And just like that I was reduced to toddler status again.

4) Lotto-Not-D'oh!
#1 Blog-chum Trinity, convinced that his luck would prove better than mine, talked me into getting a lottery ticket this week, thoughtfully providing me with a set of numbers he mystically channeled from a cardboard box he just happened to have in front of him at the time. I checked the winning numbers this morning ... I hadn't got a single one of them.

So I'm still poor.

Poor and tired.

Poor and tired and teething.

Bleh!


Author's Note: In the interests of fairness, I must admit that it's not all doom and gloom; I won two blog competitions last week, the first on the lovely Diane's blog, Cooking Blind and the second on uber-cool Dominica's Faces & Places of Antwerp. Surprise prizes are winging their way to me, which I'm ridiculously and childishly excited about ... it's even better than Christmas! YaY! And yesterday I got a card with Peeps on it from said #1 blog-chum Trinity, which made me smile and quietly chuckle to myself (QCTM). Plus, I may or may not have a hot date with the Blogfather, Dr Zibbs ... if his wife let's him.

So I guess I DO have something to smile about.

Maybe I will in a little while.

Maybe the comedy blog legends that are Mr London Streets and Mo "Mad Dog" Stoneskin will write hilarious posts that will make me guffaw against my will and make my bad mood disappear like autographed photos of the Pope at a nun's convention.

Maybe!

But for now, I'm still grumpy.

*scowls and pouts*