So it's Easter again; which of course means another summons to my mother's for Sunday lunch and another lesson in ritualistic humiliation from my family members.
Lovely!
Today's shiny little nugget of embarrassment came just as the cheese and biscuits were being passed round, just when I thought I might have managed to scrape through the meal unscathed.
I really should have known better.
It was commented on, by the Silver Fox (my mother's boyfriend), that I seemed to have a wonderfully close bond with my Grandfather. I couldn't deny this, I'm a Grandad's girl, always have been, always will be. My mother said as much, adding that when I was a little girl I followed him everywhere. My Grandfather quickly confirmed this, adding "And we mean EVERYWHERE".
I knew what was coming next and started to squirm in my seat, rapidly trying to think of some distraction that might steer the conversation in another direction.
"Everywhere?" asked the Silver Fox
Dammit! Too late. I'd missed my window of opportunity. Sinking down on my chair I braced myself with a grimace.
My Grandfather then related various examples of how I would follow him everywhere ... even to the bathroom.
Now let me hastily explain that I didn't actually go to the bathroom WITH my Grandfather. It's just that one of the bathrooms at my Grandparent's old house was situated at the top of the stairs and made conversation with the occupant possible if that was what you chose to do.
And invariably I did.
My Grandfather told us about his particular favourite example, which went something like this:
Me: "Grandad?"
Grandfather: Silence
Me: "Grandad?"
Grandfather: Silence (clearly hoping I would go away if he didn't say anything)
Me: "GRANDAD!!" "GRANDAAAAAD!!!!!"
Grandfather: Big sigh "Yes, Katie?"
Me: "Grandad? Whatcha dooooin?"
Grandfather: Big sigh "I'm seeing a man about a dog"
Me: Squeaking with childish glee and clapping hands excitedly "OH GRANDAD!!! ARE WE GETTING A PUPPY? ARE WE? YAY! WE'RE GETTING A PUPPY!!! I'M GOING TO TELL MUMMY AND NANA" Tears off down the stairs shouting the wonderful news all the way
Grandfather: "Oh God!"
My Grandfather said I cried for over an hour when the true situation was explained to me.
And that's how we ended up getting a dog.
Of course, they all thought this highly amusing, a chorus of "Awww! How sweet!" and "Oh, you were so cute!" etc
Bleh!
Anyway, Happy Easter to my blogchum lovelies, I hope yours is full of chocolatey goodness and humiliation free.
Ps: Here's a video you might like, by Hot Chocolate (in keeping with the day), that is not only hilariously camp and crap, but also handily includes a workout routine for you, to help burn off all those calories you no doubt consumed today.
You're welcome.
