Get a Job ...

As you may or may not know I gave notice on my job recently and am now looking for something else. My last day is on Thursday and despite having applied for about 15 jobs so far I still haven't heard anything, no interviews etc. So I'm starting to get a little bit edgy.

Mind you, some of them don't close to applications until the middle of April and others have stated that it could take up to 4 weeks from the closing date (which was end of March) to even get to interview stage. So maybe it's a little early to start worrying just yet.

What annoys me most is that they quite blatantly say that they will NOT notify you unless you are being invited to interview and that if you haven't heard anything within 4 weeks of the closing date you can just assume that you won't be hearing from them.

They also say that there is a cut-off number for applications; if your application happens to be number 101 then it's not even going to get looked at AND they won't notify you of this.

So basically I could be spending all this time filling in application forms and sending off CV's to jobs I'm not even going to be considered for. And I won't know this for sure for at least 4 weeks!

Ok ... excuse me while I whinge for a second here ...

*adopts whiny voice*

That's sooooooo unfair!!!! They wouldn't like it if they OFFERED me the job and I said "Hmm, well ok, I'll think about it. Oh and if you haven't heard back from me in say ... oh, I dunno, 4 weeks, you can go right ahead and assume I don't want it"

What a bunch of crapweasels!

*takes deep, calming breaths*

Ok. I feel much better now

So anyway, I need a job and I'm filling in all these application forms ...well I say "forms", I think they must have actually been compiled by Dostoevsky, because they seem to go on and on and on. I'm getting totally bored with it already, spewing out the same cliches that apparently every employer likes to see and therefore almost always guarantees you an interview.

But it really is nonsense, and as I was filling one in tonight I started to think about what the various terms REALLY mean:

"I am highly motivated and committed to a career in ..."
Translation: I don't really want to work at all, but I guess I have to, so I might as well work for you


"I work well as a team player"
Translation: It'll be cool to have someone to take 2 hour lunch breaks in the pub with

"I work well using my own initiative"
Translation: I like to use as much work time as possible surfing the internet

"I enjoy working with people"
Translation: I hate working with people

"I am flexible"
Translation: I have issues with time-keeping, don't expect to see me before lunchtime

"I am conscientious"
Translation: I will only steal small stuff, like pens and paper ... not computers and fax machines

"I have excellent communication skills"
Translation: I like to make personal phone calls and e-mail alot

"I have plenty of experience"
Translation: I can't hold a job down for longer than 6 months

"I am computer literate"
Translation: I know where the "On" button is

Oh well ... I'll keep applying, something has to turn up sooner or later.

Who knows! I might get that International Lounge Lizard job I've always wanted.




WTF!!!!! This has to be the most BIZARRE thing I've seen in a long while ... I was looking for the Silhouettes classic version of this song and just happened to see this. Curious as always I clicked on the link only to be visually BLUDGEONED with the most outrageous gold lamé outfits, speed-singing and the biggest bunch of misfits who are either performing some seriously dodgy dance moves or doing some kind of hyperactive workout routine!! I can't decide which. (The skinny guy in black's, leg-shaking solo towards the end nearly made me shoot milk out my nose.) Check it out and let me know what you think ...