Er ... Le Freak ... C'est Chic?

It's Tuesday and the "Ladies wot lunch" as my friends and I have christened ourselves were partaking of a delightfully liquid lunch when one of my friends casually mentioned that as a "gift" to herself in celebration of her impending 30th birthday she is going to have plastic surgery ... a nose job to be precise.

I don't know how long the stunned silence actually lasted, but it felt like several months at least.

Then, in perfect unison we chorused "OH MY GOD!!! ARE YOU INSANE? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR NOSE!!!"

And there really isn't. But apparently she's always wanted a "cute little button nose" ... yeah, well so did Michael Jackson, love and look what happened there ... if your stomach's that strong.

Now I can appreciate not being entirely happy with one's looks, it's a girl thing, we're our own harshest critics ... personally I think my nose is too long and my top lip too thin ... but there is NO WAY I would actually have anything done about it! For one, I'm a total wuss and have zero tolerance for pain and two, I prefer to have something that makes me insecure so I can whine every single time I'm getting ready to go out. (Like I said, it's a girl thing)

We ranted at her for a good 15 minutes but she remained unmoved. The really worrying thing was she then said that if she was happy with the nose job she was considering having other work done, namely lip fillers and a boob job!!!! I wish you could see this girl, because she's beautiful, and it's so disturbing to know that she is seriously contemplating messing with her naturally good looks. She say's she just wants to enhance what she has but it's like that saying "If it ain't broke, don't fix it".

I've read numerous articles on plastic surgery gone wrong (it's like serial killers, gruesome but fascinating) and they've all mentioned that there is a high addiction factor once you start, especially if the procedures go well to begin with. Already our friend is talking about having further work done and you can't help but wonder where it will stop. Or if it will ever stop.

Here are some well known cases that went horribly, horribly wrong:



Meet Jocelyn Wildenstein ... pretty, isn't she?











One unfaithful husband and God only knows how many procedures later, this is what she looks like now. Apparently Mr Wildenstein liked big cats so she thought if she made herself look more feline then he wouldn't leave her!

He left her.

Now they call her "The Bride of Wildenstein", obviously a play on "The Bride of Frankenstein"





Although if you look at Mrs Frankenstein I think you'll agree that's rather unfair
... on Mrs Frankenstein






Ok, so Donatella Versace was never exactly a stunner, but at least she looked natural and not how I imagine Barbie would look like if she were mummified.

I can't help but wonder how these people convince themselves that this mutilation is actually making them look better!




Although maybe in the lovely Donatella's case ... it's all the freeloading sycophants on the blag for some free designer gear?









This is Leslie Ash. She was one of Britain's top TV actresses/male lust objects in the 80's and 90's.









This is Leslie Ash the last time she got any TV work.

Mind you, the trout pout would prove to be the least of her worries in the following years.







Then there's this woman ... I have NO idea who she is, I'm guessing an American soap star from the 80's by the styling in the "Before" pic.

Isn't that just terrifying? (I thought the 80's pic was bad enough) I left this pic in colour so that you could appreciate the full horror of what she's done to her face.




And then we have the DIY expert.

This lady, as you can see was very pretty ... and then she became addicted to plastic surgery.

When it got to the stage where every surgeon she approached turned her away, refusing to carry out any more work, she decided to have a go herself ... and injected cooking oil into her face*.

The article I read about her said that at the time she was refused further surgery one of the doctors had "suggested there could be a psychological problem" ... !!!! Sheesh! Ya think? And only ONE came to that conclusion?

*Don't try this at home, kids





And to avoid claims of sex discrimination ... yep, the guys are at it too







And what post on bad plastic surgery would be complete without ...




St. Jacko de Wacko ... Patron Saint of Rhinoplasty (and chimps)









Now that I've put you off your food (and hopefully made you feel a bit/alot better about yourself) I'm off to send a link to this post to my friend.

I could delve into the deeper, psychological ramifications of this issue ... but I've had a long enough day, I'd quite like a cup of tea ... and I pretty much just want to laugh at the freaky people.

Have a nice evening!