I've had 2 hours sleep in 48 hours so I'm off to bed but I wanted to leave you with a few little nuggets to (hopefully) entertain you. I wouldn't want you to think I'd forgotten you or that I don't care ...
Ladies, maybe there ARE some arguments FOR having plastic surgery after all ...
Men ... when playing with your tools (and we know you do, we're not stupid, we know exactly what you're doing when you spend all that time in the garage) be sure to heed this warning ...
Isn't it bad enough being called "Orefice" without then marrying someone called "Rump"?
This book could save your life ...
How To Avoid Huge Ships by John W Trimmer
This is the opening paragraph and a description:
"When walking down a local thoroughfare, or perhaps on a day out to your local dock, and suddenly, seemingly from nowhere, a 40ft metallic compound hull emerges in your line of sight, it is most likely, if not definitely, going to be - a huge ship"
It's theoretical groundwork like this which lacks from today's 'pick and choose' postmodern discourse. Trimmer unleashes this devastating examination with relative ease; most interestingly with chapters such as "Avoiding the ship itself: Moving Left or Right?" which comes up with a flurried and meticulous deconstruction of ethics and theoretical obstacles, for instance "is there anything on either side of the huge ship? - if so, and there is, it is probably, if not definitely, going to be - difficult to move round to that side of the huge ship".
You can buy it on Amazon where it seems to have had a rather good response, here are some comments:
"I've been plagued by huge ships all my life. Ever since I can remember. This book tells you all you need to know about avoiding these everyday hazards. Now I can come and go with complete freedom. Even my weekly shopping is a pleasure!"
"Before I bought this book I often found avoiding huge ships to be a constant problem. Not a week would go by without some sort unforseen collision occuring and ruining my day.
Then a friend bought me this book, and it has transformed my life. I won't give too many of its insightful findings away, but one thing it taught me was to keep my eyes open for any super-tonne moving objects in my path by observing tell-tale secondary effects such as eclipsing of sunlight or other local weather effects (eg. localised protection from rain). It also taught me to try to stay clear of main shipping routes and the sea generally as this is where huge ships are said to frequent"
Death by tray ... you've probably seen this before, but frankly, I don't care! It's an oldie but goodie ...
G'nite x
