Apocalypse When?

Am I just being paranoid ... or is everybody (except me) under the impression that the world is on the brink of an apocalypse? I mean, I know things aren't great at the moment ... but really? An apocalypse?

In the last three days I have had FOUR conversations of various lengths and degrees with regards to this matter, none of which were instigated by me, three of whom involved the term "Mad Max State" !!! What the heck is going on? Did I miss something? Was there a memo of some sort that didn't reach my "In" tray?

The first conversation was brief and amusing; the second was still humorous but had a bit of an edge to it; by conversation number three i was pulling this face --> :S ... but it was conversation number four that pretty much had me freaking out all day long, consisting as it did of a male friend laying out with gusto and in full, graphic detail the horror waiting to be unleashed on my cosy little world and then helpfully (or so he considered it) giving me useful "tips and hints for post-apocalyptic survival", such as:

1) Start stocking up on tinned goods and medical supplies (but make sure to check the expiry dates!)

2) Invest in a shit-load (his words, not mine) of noodles ('Yum Yum' being the best on the market apparently, noodle fans)

3) Have your appendix and teeth removed and then get fitted with dentures (because the last thing you'll need when facing a rampaging horde of environmental/economic refugees is a toothache or niggly appendicitis)

4) Get a gun licence and then start stocking up on handy weapons and ammo and taking target practice

5) Start procreating NOW so that your children will be old enough by time the apocalypse hits to be assets (providing you suitably trained them in the art of warfare) rather than have them be a hindrance to your own chances of survival

6) Move somewhere high and cold ... maybe a forest in deepest Norway, or alternatively Greenland.

7) Buy a log cabin in a remote area, preferably with its own well and close to a forest (*as above) and a lake/fjord to facilitate hunting/fishing

8) Build a large greenhouse, grow your own vegetables and construct a solar-powered energy system ("so you can stay online")

:|

By this time I was sobbing in a corner(metaphorically speaking ... all the real corners being occupied), rocking in a distressed manner, moaning "Oh God! I'm gonna die! I'M GONNA DIE!" ... at which point my gallant friend told me not to worry, that if push came to shove he'd whisk me off to said log cabin in Norway and protect me, not to mention training our numerous offspring to be highly skilled snipers.

Oh! My hero!

But it's no wonder my friends (*Note to self: 'Revise' friends list as matter of priority) have been gripped by this prospect of terror and destruction; in true scare-mongering style the media have latched on to the hope of the ultimate 'drama' and are busy flooding the papers and internet with lurid, worse-case-scenario predictions that has everybody peeing their pants and buying up baked beans by the truck load.

I don't dispute that things are looking grim; nobody can deny global warming now or its effect on the weather systems, and having witnessed America and Asia being systematically ravaged by one natural disaster after another it's totally understandable that this should be a major concern for the future. And I work in the financial sector so I know exactly how precarious the whole world economy is right now; with the US congress having just rejected the Governments generous (to be funded by the even more generous US tax-payers) $700 billion bail-out plan, the world stands waiting with nervously baited breath, knowing that one big 'wobble' could send the US crashing into another depression that in turn will set all the other economies tumbling one by one, like dominoes. Inflation will soar as the value of the US dollar plummets, leaving America in a state of affairs that frankly is hard to comprehend.

The important question is how will people deal with that eventuality?

I read yesterday that HBO are in the process of developing a futuristic new drama titled "Americatown", depicting the US as so bankrupt and natural disaster-prone that the Americans flee the country. Set 25 to 40 years in the future, it explores the scenario of how American immigrants would adapt to Chinatown-like enclaves in cities around the world.

But is that really what would happen? Americans, for the most part, are notoriously patriotic and proud of their country, it's a big part of their collective identity, of what drives them and gives them their strength ... would they really just walk away? Would American society really deteriorate and crumble that fast into chaos?

Because that's what the media's predicting; they're saying morality and lawfulness will fall by the wayside as people turn into rapacious, desperate looters and mercenaries, roaming not only their own land but others' as well, observing no law but their own, destructing anything and anyone unlucky enough to get in their way. Are people capable of that in this (supposedly sophisticated) day and age? Or has the media just watched Mad Max one too many times?

I really hope that it's just another case of media sensationalism at it's worst, because in all seriousness the reality of any of that happening would be simply terrifying.

As a woman, on her own, who (let's face it) struggles to cope with THIS easy, and in comparison, comfy life ... I just wouldn't stand a chance of survival. I'm not a Sarah Connor or Lara Croft type, I'm not going to be able to pull off the whole "shotgun and a vest" look with any credibility. I'd be about as threatening as a bunny with a flick-knife.

But all joking aside ... should I BE thinking about this situation possibly occurring? Planning for it? Should I be worried? (Should I be researching Norwegian log cabins?) Because having thought about it all day, and it's been a very long day, I am seriously anxious and feeling very small and alone. My dream of living 'a la du Maurier' is looking less and less likely. ANY kind of pleasant, peaceful existence is looking less and less likely. And I HATE that! It makes me want to throw the mother of all hissy fits, it's THAT unfair! Is that really all I have to look forward to? What about children? I'd dearly love a family, but what kind of mother would bring children into a world so full of violence and chaos and struggle?

These have been my tormented thoughts all day!

But you know what? I'm NOT going to think about it any more, I'm not going to worry and fret about it anymore (not unless/until I really have to anyway!) Because although I may not have religion I DO have faith. I have faith in people, in human kindness, in empathy and in simple goodness. There's a lot of 'bad eggs' out there, no doubt, but I'm guessing that for every 'bad egg' there's a dozen 'jolly good fellows' and I'm prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt and trust that the majority, even if faced with the most extreme hardship, will pull together, stand firm, and do the right thing.

Tragedy and struggle can sometimes unite people by giving them a common bond, a shared cause or battle; personally THAT'S what I think will happen.

I think we're heading into some very dark times; it's not going to be easy, some may get lost along the way, but people have the coolest way of finding each other when they need it most, even in the dark, and with guidance it's easier to find your way out into the light.

See you on the other side.