Stuck for any suitably loony-yet-creative ideas for today's blog I have been reflecting on the day's contents and have decided that on the whole it has been made up of a series of disappointments.
I was disappointed:
1) To wake up and realise that I wasn't languishing in an expensive Parisian hotel bed next to Olivier Martinez, with fresh, warm croissants and coffee waiting for me, followed by a day of no-holds-barred retail therapy, courtesy of said Monsieur Martinez's credit card
2) That England still hasn't adopted a tropical climate
3) To find that the lazy, good-for-nothing cat STILL hasn't mastered the art of housework and in fact expects me to do it all!
4) To realise that my attempts to dissuade my upstairs neighbours from their extremely noisy sexual antics (at ALL hours of the day and night ... I am beginning to suspect that they are part-Duracell bunnies) by playing the Benny Hill theme music as loud as my stereo will allow every time the walls start to shake, continues to fail miserably
5) To realise that said neighbours now in fact seem to have found a rhythm to the Benny Hill theme music which amazingly heightens the experience for them
6) To discover that I had still not won the lottery ... although I concede that my consistent failure to buy a ticket may have had something to do with this
7) To have my plans for a meal that I had been looking forward to all day cruelly FOILED by my weediness and subsequent inability to open a jar of essential ingredients
8) To have toast for dinner ... again
9) That in spite of having invited him to dinner and heaped no end of flattery and praise on him over the last couple of days ... Wolverine has STILL not accepted my invitation OR declared his undying lust/love for me! What's up with that!?! Effin ingrate!
10) That they still haven't made "Jaws! The Musical"
I hope that your day has been more rewarding.
23 comments:
Toast for dinner?
That's it. I'm on a plane now. Please pick me up at the crappy Gadwick airport.
(Which I've landed in many times and it's a pit)
You like toast THAT much?
Actually, Heathrow was officially declared the worst airport in the UK last week ... although I'm sure Gatwick isn't much better
There ... now you have two crappy airports to choose from
I haven't gone to bed yet, it's still Saturday here. I had a blast on your last post, thanks for such a good time.
Toast with a can of tuna and a couple of pieces of cheese might pick you up, oh yeah, and some grapes.
:) you're most welcome Diane
That all sounds yummy, but I'm a bit Old Mother Hubbard'ish atm ... spose I'll have to get off my lazy bottom tomorrow and go get some groceries :P
I thought the Benny Hill plan was rather ingenious, sorry to hear it backfired. And I had never considered "Jaws: The Musical" but now I am eager to see it come to fruition. Somewhere there is a shark with a lovely tenor just waiting for his break.
Exactly, words! The Pavarotti of the sea world, if you will.
I knew I could count on you to appreciate that one
How can you make a mundane day sound so interesting?
There must be something in your toast ;)
PrincessImp ... I believe you have to look for and appreciate the silly things in life, otherwise the unmitigated tedium will send you stark-staring-bonkers ... and then you have to become a politician *shudders at the thought*
Thanks for stopping by :)
I think that Zibbs is hopping a flight across the pond to come cook for you. He's terrified you'll waste away to nothing before he can do some funk dancin' on ya bootay.
I used to really hate when we lived in an apartment and it was obvious the neighbors were not only having sex but getting some kind of kinky/energetic/multiple orgasmic.
I'd curse them to a Hell full of STD's while I pretended to be asleep, waiting for that moment when my hubby would try to nudge me awake with a pecker in my ass crack - knowing I couldn't live up to the performance pressure the porn stars next door were heaping on, with all their fake screaming & head butting the wall.
I just wanted to go back to sleep, finish the dream with Wolverine in it.
Hey, that was pretty dang creative, missy! You've got a nice way with a post, that's for sure, and you're never boring. I've been thinking about your dinner party idea and I might have to steal it. It would be a good meme.
Hey, it has to be said that the British people are doing their best to adopt a tropical climate. Surely their effort should get some praise? I mean, in this day and age it takes guts to be wasteful.
lol P Mama you crack me up :P
I hope the good Dr does come cook for me, his dishes always look totally yummy.
Thanks Pru! :P Back atcha ... and steal away! I'd love to see what you do with it.
Actually ... I encourage everyone to do it, it was great fun to think about and write, and also a really good way to give a well deserved shout-out to your fellow bloggers
Been thinking about this a bit, and here's some soundtracks you can try for the sex maniacs next door:
A clockwork orange
Night of the living dead
Fran Drescher's laugh on a loop
Any Barbara Streisand song
Ethel Merman's "There's No Business Like Show Business"
Haha ... oh Diane, Ethel Merman would be hilarious!
Even better ... did you know Ethel Merman did a version of that WITH Barbra Streisand? lol How gruesome has that gotta be?
Or maybe "Enough is Enough" that she did with Donna Summer ... although I kinda like that song since my mum played it alot when I was little.
Mentally the Brits have adopted a tropical climate years ago. The moment the temperature gets above 14 degrees we all put our shorts on. It's the weather that has been a spoilsport and has refused to join in.
Mr S ... I was thinking that only the other day. We really are a sad bunch and it shows our desperation and determination to enjoy what little sun we get here, because let's face it ... those 10 minutes of semi-warmth in May could be the British summertime (it usually is) so can't really blame us.
Rumour has it this summer will be really good. You know, that rumour you hear every bloody year.
I bet the few weeks of decent weather are glorious in Norfolk though - all that lovely coast.
LMAO @ Number 5! Hahaha!
Mr S ... I have to reluctantly admit that the Norfolk coast can be lovely. Problem is as soon as we get a bit of decent weather everyone flocks there and spoils it!
I want my own private beach!
lol canwepleasestopandreflect ... glad you enjoyed it :) Thanks for stopping by.
I spent a long weekend in Sheringham once... it's a scary place.
ha! Did you ride the little train? There's a nice ice cream parlour there too
I'm sorry about your ten disapointmens, but I enjoyed them. Not that I like seeing other people suffer, but I love funny observations. At least you've got the Brithish accent thing going for you. That ranks pretty high on the cool scale.
lol thanks Chaka! :P I'll try to be disappointed more often
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